Reboot "disk" and a place to party
By Mike Silva
Last week, I posted a blog jacking with people on Craigslist.
Why? I explained it all here.
The latest installment of my "antics," as one friend called them, are below.
Scenario: Guy has a messed up laptop, needs a reboot "disk," but for some reason, he put "REBOOT DICK NEEDED." Idiot.
Either he: A. suffered from that phenomenon where you say a word and accidentally type what you said rather than what you intended to write, which in this case would be weird because that means he was talking about dick with someone, B. genuine typo, which is doubtful because the "c" key isn't very close to the "s" key, at least not directly next to it, or C. he wanted to be bait in a prank because he is a dumbass.
For what reason would I NOT go in on this guy?
Mike Silva: I may be able to help you out.
I am a little confused with your ad, however. Your subject says "Reboot disk" but then in your message you go on to say you need a "reboot dick". Please help me help you.
Thanks,
Mike
Gamer Noob: Sorry it should say disk ...
MS: Oh. Then I can't help you. Sorry.
GN: yeah not a freak just did not read it before i posted ...So you can help with a reboot DISK.lol
MS: Sorry dude. I'm a little nervous now. I hope you can find someone who can help you "reboot". Is that what they call it these days?
GN: Look i am not some freaken fag. i really need a reboot disk for my laptop it is an EVO 610...GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE FREAKEN GUTTER.
MS: Hey, I wasn't the one who posted an ad looking for a "reboot dick."
GN: it's called a typo . wow what a piece of shit...
Pretty funny. I'm the P.O.S. Come on, don't you think this guy would've taken the same opportunity? How can you not? I wonder if he ever got what he "needed."
Scenario: Lady needs a venue for a wedding rehearsal dinner she's hosting. This is one's easily one of my favorites. She must have been pretty pissed/confused.
Mike Silva: I have a venue for your dinner.
Mike
Desperate Host: Could you please be a little more descriptive?
MS: Sure!
Well as you said, your dinner will need to be on the 30th of April. That works great for me!
My neighbors own a 2 floor, 2 bedroom house. There is a dining room, a formal dining room, and a kitchen.
The garage is air conditioned and has work out equipment (just in case you guys like to exercise!).
The backyard is spacious and has a swingset and a sandbox for entertainment. The house altogether is approximately 1700 square feet.
The 30th should be perfect because my neighbors are going on a business trip from April 28-May 2. I'm housesitting for them and they said no guests, but hey, I don't want to be alone and I'm sure you guys will help me tidy up!
It's a pretty nice house in the north west area, and considering it's for a rehearsal dinner, I'll only charge you $85 (provided you all can help me clean up after :) )
DH: Thanks for the offer but given that you do not have the owner’s consent I do not think it is a good idea. I have found a possible other venue anyway. Thanks for your time.
MS: Oh wait I just asked them. They said it's cool no big deal.
So I talked to my friend Alonzo. He holds a supervisor position at his job
(Taco Bell) and he said he would have no problem catering. They have some of
the best, authentic Mexican food in the area. Lucky you!
I also booked a "Daffy's Play Spot" moonwalk for the party. They said it's
gonna cost about 75/hour, so I'll need to recompensated for that as well.
This sounds like it'll be a lot of fun! When can we meet to discuss payment?
DH: As I stated in my last email, I am not interested in having the gathering
with you at your venue. Good luck to you.
Ps. I never said I wanted a moonwalk for the party - so any expenses you
need to be 're-compensated' for are on you.
MS: Was it the Taco Bell idea? If you're not a fan I have a buddy that works at
a gourmet Chinese restaurant (Panda Express) if you'd rather that. Yes/no?
If you don't want me there I guess I can find something else to do with my
time.
Please trust in my party liason skills.
PS it's ok I went ahead and did it anyways. I guess I'll have the
houseowners recompensate me for it.
DH: Do not contact me again! I am not interested.
This lady missed out. Imagine a party with Taco Bell, Panda Express, and a moonwalk. Who the hell wouldn't wanna party there? Apparently, not this stupid lady.